While in Whole Foods this morning I heard a cellphone ring. Not at all unusual, you may think......

   It was not all that long ago you were fortunate if your phone had a 20 foot cord, which you could pull out to 25 feet if you really tried. You could pace the room while engaged in that intense long distance conversation, amazing enough in that it was with someone 2 continents away. And you could hear it ring from anywhere in the house and always know where it was, (but not who...). But in this day and age, when people walk about seemingly talking to themselves on bluetooth headsets (hidden by their hair), or drive around alone apparently speaking to themselves, (but really) on in-car phone systems, or talking in clubs, gyms, parks, anywhere....or just being rude to tellers in banks and cashiers in supermarkets, you'd be right.

   The unusual part...it was the old "Nokia" ring. You know - dededoodoodededoodoodededoodoodooooo. Not Snoop Dogg, U2, Sting, Coldplay, Brad Paisley, Madonna, Pink, hell, even Mel Torme. Nokia. It stopped me cold, and I didn't even realise why until I was out of the market and well on my way home. How positively passe !!!!

   Yes, Ringtones have hit the charts. Radio and Records, Billboard, Music Express, etc, all now have Ringtone charts. It's not just your cool phone anymore but the cool ringtones you've got on it. You can download them from thousands of dedicated sites. And all the artists listed above, and almost all artists, period, have jumped on the bandwagon. You can find absolutely anything in a 15 to 30 second soundbyte to represent your phone sensibilities these days. Anything. You can even assign certain tones to certain incoming callers. (I had Ren and Stimpy's "Happyhappyhappy, Joyjoyjoy" assigned to someone who made me feel that way. Unfortunately, I've retired it....) They've become THE new i.d. factor for the cellphone generation. I gotta admit, they're almost as annoying as they are cool. And, they're generating dollars. BIG dollars.

   I'm a techie, and have had cellphones that've used custom tones for years. Going back to the monotonal. Now they're full out "wav" files. Polyphonic to the point of symphonic. Even still, I was hardly aware of this as a legitimate phenomenon. Who knew? So I talked to a good friend, Griffen Goldbergg, a really nice guy and incredibly talented aspiring hip-hop artist, (www.yessur.com/griffen.htm), and was stunned by what I learned. While he's struggling hard to get that big label deal, (his stuff is on an indie label now), put a tour together, write and produce other artists, and just generally make it, he is making a moderate living composing and supplying Ringtones to one of the larger international suppliers. And, oddly, making quite a name for himself in the world of thirty second i.d. gratification.

   This is a great thing for Griff, and lots of artists like him, because it not only gets his name and music out there, but lets the record companies hear short bursts of his creativity, (and we all know short bursts are all most "creative" execs can handle), and lets those companies know just how viable a product his material is. Not only by the charts in the major trades, but all the websites that provide 'em, track 'em. So there are actual statistics available for guys like Griffen to show the companies. And help them prove they're dealworthy. And that's pretty great.

   So the next time you're in that bastion of earthy cool, Whole Foods, (or anywhere for that matter), and you hear a "standard" ring on someone's phone, nudge that person and make them listen to that byte of "Yellow" you've got as your main ring. Even if they don't thank you, everyone around them will.